Boy and girl twins (fraternal twins) come by the odds of 50% in twin pregnancies and raising them could present an extra challenge for parents; so, get ready to read some tips on how to deal with this kind of cute double trouble.
We all probably heard a tale of how amazing it is the love between a brother and a sister or how much of an unspeakable bond that is carried by any twin, yet boy and girl twins’ stories are indeed something unique. In first ultrasounds when multiple heartbeats appear in ultrasound some future parents find it hard to believe that they are those selected ones who will in some months have twins or triplets maybe. With all the extra worry that comes regarding the birth, double expenses, and planning a nice future for those babies – it is undoubtedly the condition during which a mother’s heart learns that her love simply doubled and that she will have an amazing life experience that is not gifted to everybody. Concerns over providing them everything equal, sharing and devoting your time to them equally, and feeding them equally may be there during the first months maybe but later on, you learn that no matter how similar they are, how their size is almost same, they both – twin boy and twin girl are completely two different individuals and you continue to learn how to behave towards them and how to raise twins, simply only by and with time.
Insight Into a Twin Story From the Point Of A Real-Life Twin
At a point of your pregnancy you learn more about the baby or banies you carry within. What changes after being 12 weeks pregnant or when do you learn more about your babies? All these apply to a single or twin child. We may talk about raising a single child even for hours, with twins we will get some new ideas, some new hacks, some different problems, and some universal yet unique experiences but we will always continue to talk from the parents’ side.
However, we can start at least the first paragraph of this article by trying to understand twins by imagining ourselves in the position of one, or by reminding ourselves of some twins that we know.
Many famous people today are lucky to have boy and girl twins, to mention George and Amal Clooney or Roger and Mirka Federer for example would be enough.
From far we cannot know how those kids are being raised counting all the best conditions that they have, but still, the parents need double energy and double focus.
Probably once when twins get bigger and older, they get tired of comparisons that are all the time maximally present from number one, and even by saying that they would not like to be compared, there will be strangers who will appear and start to comment on them.
Boy and girl twins, due to gender, have many differences yet the structure of the face, similarities in behavior, and their walk style may be highly present.
People who come to visit the house with twins will investigate family albums, talking and emphasizing those similarities and looking hard for what’s different while twin kids will be there asking themselves ‘Why are they saying this?’.
For twins, it may be illogical that other people see and consider them as living miracles, but they are miracles.
Boy and girl twins who are lucky to be born into a healthy family, usually when in teenage years express themselves as being grateful that they had the possibility to grow up with opposite gender, to play, boy and girl games together, to have as best friend brother or sister who is just same age as you but still slightly different. Many of them say that they are happier like this than by the possibility that they could have identical, same-gender twins.
They admit that there were times when they tried to prove that they are the better half because unfortunately many people in close surroundings underestimate the specialty of the case and they do not see those twins as two, but as one (same person).
Many twins agree that being a twin has its advantages and disadvantages, but they often want to emphasize that they are unique, and they come with sentences like: ‘If you are not twin, you won’t understand’ and probably till some extent it may be counted as the correct thing to say.
How To Get Prepared for Raising Boy and Girl Twins?
Reading children’s books during pregnancy, discovering completely new data, and going beyond the idea with many details that keep adding constantly could make you overwhelmed but surely it will take you time to accept and understand you will be a parent to two beautiful, yet two different souls at the exact same time.
If you are a first-time mother, you may face extra difficulties and additional fear, or if you already had maybe two or three kids you will still be worried by comprehending the idea that your family will expand for two more members instead of one. You will try to prepare your children for the arrival of twins but you will still keep slight concern about how older kids will accept them, will it be too hard to take care of so a big family but you should learn to breathe out the concept of problems and try to forget about worrying about space and all ‘possible’ probabilities while most probably your pregnancy will just pass fast like the previous ones too and in the end, you will be richer for both – a boy and a girl, just like that. That’s the answer if you ask if are twins hard to raise.
If you have met some other couple who are going to have twins during your visit to the doctor, for example, you realize that you are not the only one who is experiencing it and with time you accept your blessing wholeheartedly.
Surely pregnancy may be much more stressful and demanding, but already after the fifth or sixth month there comes an amazing opportunity of buying the first clothes that you will dress on your babies in the hospital, and you are so fortunate that you won’t envy those who will go just in one section, because you will be buying blue and pink pairs as well.
What Increases the Chance of Having Boy Girl Twins?
Boy-girl twins may come to your family if you have a long and strong inherited line of twins in the family. After the ‘generation 1’ had a couple of twins it is likely that if not ‘generation 2’, then ‘generation 3’ has high chance of conceiving the twins as well.
In recent surveys, it was also found that mothers’ BMI (body mass index) may play a significant role in having boy-girl twins, taking into consideration the mothers with extra high BMI (over the 25, close to 30).
Other factors except genetics and weight include height where taller women stand a higher chance of having twins and the age, where older age is not only a pregnancy risk factor but the decreasing index on having twins as well.
Usually, when talking about twins, it comes somehow as natural to talk about numbers, so to keep you updated, you may be interested in knowing that
- Only 1 in 250 pregnancies results in having the twins
- And that chances of having identical twins are relatively rare – only 3 or 4 in over 1.000 births.
First Year With Boy And Girl Twins
The first advice that you may get on raising the twins is to not lose yourself and get the wreck mentally, following the advice to find something that motivates you except your kids so that you could continue to function normally after some time. First year can naturally be the most compromising time during which you will have to learn to work on schedule, to learn how to ask for help and not to be ashamed of the condition of your living room at the end of the day.
It does not matter much if you become a parent of two girls, or of a boy and a girl because basically the first 6-8 months will pass in changing the same number of diapers, feeding them the same way, making them burp and having sleepless nights. Pink or blue collars won’t even be visible that much how tiresome your days will be passing. But looking on the bright side, after these several months you will be able to spot sweet differences between a boy’s ears and a girl’s eyes, their hairs may not be the same, they may smile differently, and you will just enjoy having two munchkins.
It will be quite challenging when you stay for the first time all alone to take care of both, so somehow you may get hesitant when not being sure which one first to sooth in arms or how to prevent them from falling and similar.
Some Quick Tips on Raising The Boy Girl Twins
- See your little ones as two separate individuals and try to differentiate them by some objective from the day one as tips on raising twins.
- Whether you will be breastfeeding them or using the formula; never underestimate the importance of keeping the stockpiles of pumped milk in fridge or having at least two or three extra formula boxes
- The same story goes for diapers as well; maybe just after the twins were born you can decide to buy stock for next two month because it will be very hard to leave the house with two newborns
- Do not forget about self-care and think only what works best for you; if you need to hire even someone to give you help with babies do so
- Raising single baby takes full time and all the effort, so do not undermine and sabotage yourself in the instances when you feel you are not taking the care of them exactly as you imagined
- Being over their heads for 24 hours a day is impossible, and you should give yourself time for ordinary activities you used to enjoy spending time in
- Do not worry if their socks and shirts do not match, as long as the twins are clean
- Teach them with the time to lean on each other and to be conscious of having the twin
- Try to behave in equal ways towards them, divide your time, feed them both with a spoon as they grow during each meal and if you buy them something new try to bring it same or with less difference in it
- Do not neglect boys’ needs, even if you as a mother may feel closer to the girl as they grow up
- Teach them to respect each other and each other’s privacy
- Monitor how they develop at a certain age and if one is behind the other try to take professional help in order to keep them close on mind development path
- Give them chance to have self-time and not to feel constant bond to the other twin
- Always speak openly about their problems and feelings
- Be a parent who is there for them.
With Twins You Will Forget About Tips & You Will Construct Your Own Plans and Rules
Surely, reading about it or getting the advisory hour from the doctor will be much different than experiencing having the twins but you may really forget on all written and all said once when you hear two babies screaming and crying at same moment, or reaching out towards empty feeder, or when you need to change them both again just after five minutes after doing it at first – but do not forget that raising one baby or raising twins is not piece of cake either and that you are your own hero who deserves a five minute coffee-break even all laundry is dirty or all dishes are waiting on the sink. No matter the difficulties you will face or you’re already facing, get yourself ready for a healthy labor by doing the right pregnancy exercises and to meet with your loved ones.